Sex or Parenting?

Yesterday, some words came out of my mouth. And those words got me thinking. It occurred to me that many of the phrases uttered by parents and children to each other in the heat of growing up a good family could also very easily be instead uttered in…the heat of the moment, if you know what I mean.

These things. Are they sex or parenting? Taken out of context, one can never be sure.

I brought it up on Facebook and the results were phenomenal. With that, I give you: “Sex or Parenting?”

– “Let go of my hair; you’re getting it all sticky.”

– “Don’t put that in my ear!”

– “But…I just love you!”

– “I want you to play and have a good time, just not on my face!”

– “You are going to hurt yourself that way!”

– “Put that back in your pants!”

– “Stop licking me!”

– “Are you playing harmonica on my butt?”

– “That does not go there!”

– “Take it out of your mouth or you’re going to choke!”

– “Don’t put your tongue on other people’s hineys!”

– “Why do you think that feels nice?”

– “Stop grabbing that!”

– “Put your dress back down, honey. It’s not that kind of parade.”

– “You can’t put your tongue in that!”

– “Get your face out of my boobs!”

– “We don’t touch our penis like that in front of other people, buddy.”

– “You did a great job, but we need to work on your aim.”

– “Why are you naked?”

– “Take off your pants. This is going to be messy.”

– “I love you, baby, but I don’t want you coming up behind me.”

– “Can you please stop wrapping your penis around that toy?”

– “He didn’t do it! You had your finger in his butt!”

– “I already told you, I’m going to stop if you keep playing with my nipple.”

– “If you don’t put on your pants, you are going to get a bare-butt spanking.”

– “Yes, dear, you look lovely. Now can we get back to cuddling?”

– “Get that frog out of here!”

– “I want to give you a hug. No. I want to touch your armpit!”

– “Because…butts are private.”

– “It happens to everyone, honey.”

(HINT: These are all real statement made by real parents. Hah!)

How about you? Have any gems that could be…sex or parenting?

About parentwin

Parent of twins, blogger, writer and journalist. I write things. Sometimes people even read them.
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