The Bissel Steam Cleaner – A Less Than Stellar Review

My carpets are wrecked. The main reason for this being that I have almost four-year-old twins who like markers and playdoh and mess.

 But I had been able to keep up with it for the most part. Until a few weeks ago when my Bissel Steam Cleaner up and stopped working.

Thankfully for me, it still sort of works. It will not disperse its hot soapy water anymore, but it will still suck it up. So, it could be worse.

But did you know that even the Vacuum Repair place won’t look at a Bissel? I’m sorry, but why do you say you repair vacuums if you don’t? Isn’t Bissel a fairly commonplace vacuum cleaner? They wouldn’t even look at it for me. At all. Their advice? “Go buy a cleaner that isn’t a Bissel. They suck anyway.”

Well, first, as my friend Russ says…that’s kind of their job. But secondly, whether or not they suck is not my issue. My issue is that I just don’t have $300 to throw at a cleaner right now, so can someone please fix my cleaner?

Bissel will. If I pay them. And if I’m going to pay them to fix a crappy cleaner, I’m just going to buy a new one.

But that leaves me in a shady place right now, carpet-wise.

Ever inventive, I’ve jerry-rigged a half-ass solution.

Let me introduce you to my new steam cleaner.


So, I fill the container that comes with the machine with the appropriate amount of water and soap. Then I transfer the water from the container to this toy watering can (which doesn’t sprinkle the way it’s supposed to). Then I sprinkle the water on the carpet. I repeat this five times, as quickly as possible, until all the water is on the ground. Then I turn on my useless machine and suck it all up.

It’s awful. Too much water gets left on the carpet and the heat factor because nearly nonexistent. But it does work…after a fashion. Just not well.

So, yeah, if you’re getting a steam cleaner, don’t get a Bissel. And if you do get a Bissel, at least invest in an adult-sized, fully-functioning, watering can.


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About parentwin

Parent of twins, blogger, writer and journalist. I write things. Sometimes people even read them.
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