You almost can’t be a parent to toddlers if you are easily embarrassed, humiliated or sensitive. They will see you. They will see your weakness. You will perish. Okay, maybe not, but it will feel as if you’re going through the seven gates of hell. At least once a day.
It all starts with a bad idea. For me, today, that idea was bringing the girls to the toy store (should have listened to you, Janel).
I had the option of bringing them out for a short jaunt before nap to buy a present for our friend whose daughter turns two tomorrow, or of waiting until naptime and going myself, possibly getting a coffee and sitting down with a friend for a moment. I’m not sure why I hate myself, but I chose the former. I thought it would be nice to get them out of the house or some such nonsense. Never again.
It started out just dandy. Toys R Us had a clearance table outside with random toys you know your child will just pick up and pocket, or throw a fit over before you’ve even entered the store. Great idea, Toys R Us. Fortunately, at the beginning, you can say, “Let’s go see all the other toys!” And your kids are like “Yay! Toys!” And you’re off. Unfortunately, that blasted table is still there when you’re done shopping and you really really really need to get back to the car right now or else.
Then, you enter the store, and what is with all the balls everywhere? Seriously? Because as a mom, all I want to do in a toy store is bend over every few seconds and put your balls back in their kid-accessible containers. And that’s not counting the errant bounces that knock over DVD displays or get stuck in back-to-school clearance items. Sorry, I’m not fishing for those because I have two kids to watch. Two kids who just took another ball out of your kid-accessible container. Dammit, kids, I said Put It Down.
Why can’t you be like grocery stores and cage those round, bouncy monsters in so that the kids can poke at them longingly but never really get their grubby paws on them? My patience would run longer and your merchandise would stay fresh–as in not scattered all over the ground after being pummeled by a big pink ball that “now bounces up to 15 feet!” Great.