“Hi, honey! I’m thinking meatloaf or burgers for dinner. What would you like?”
“Um, meatloaf. Do we have the cheese?”
“YES. WE HAVE THE CHEESE. I’LL MAKE IT WITH THE CHEESE.”
“OKAY. GREAT. I’M GOING TO GO FOR A RUN WHILE IT COOKS.”
“SOUNDS GOOD. SHOULD BE JUST ABOUT DONE WHEN YOU GET BACK.”
“PERFECT. HAD A GOOD DAY AT WORK TODAY.”
“YES. SO AND SO IS REALLY FUNNY.”
“WHAT’D HE SAY?”
“YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND. I’LL TELL YOU WHEN THEY GO TO BED.”
I don’t know if this happens to you, but in this house, adult conversation is severely frowned upon by those shorter than four feet. They’ll be off, playing on their own, perfectly happy…so long as my husband and I are not talking to each other. The moment they notice us interacting in a way that doesn’t involve them, the background noise slowly beginsto crescendo. We don’t even notice until it’s too late. Suddenly, we’re screaming at each other about our days, or small observations we’ve had. Yelling at the top of our lungs to hear each other over the din. It’s only after we’ve been doing this for a sentence or so that we realize what’s going on and can the conversation.
The way the children do this is brilliant. Usually they don’t even come over to cling to us. They do it from afar.
“Blardee blah doo blo doo wop bleeder blah,” slowly turns to “BLIEDER BLUEDY LALALALAALALA, ELMO’S WORLD,” slowly turns to “I’m PWINCESS MAMA. MAMA. MAAAAMA! DADA? DADDY? I’M PWINCESS!”
It seems that children’s egos (at least my children’s egos) cannot yet handle even a moment that does not revolve around them. Rather, they can’t handle any togetherness that doesn’t involve them. If I’m cleaning or cooking, for the most part they’re fine. It’s only when my husband and I try to talk. And it’s only when we’re talking about things that are not the babies. As long as the conversation revolves around cute or bad things the twins did today, they leave us alone to our chit chat.
Any other form of conversation, though, and they subversively grow louder and plead for attention until we finally give up.
You win for now, babies. Until I can figure out a way around this, or you figure out that you are not the only ones in this house.
Tales of an Unlikely Mother is on Babble.com. We’re number 14, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up!