Say What?

When I became a parent, I fully expected my speech patterns to change a bit.  I knew I’d be hearing a lot more phrases like “You can’t do that,” “Please wait,” “In a minute,” and the now infamous “Can you hear me?”  (That last one follows a family tradition. My mother used to say it to us over and over again, and I thought it was the dumbest question.  Of course I can hear you. I’m just not responding. Derp.)

Still, I was not prepared for the string of utterly ridiculous words that leave my mouth on a daily basis.  An outsider listening in would think I’ve lost my damn mind.  So for your enjoyment (and my memory) here’s a list of the top ten ridiculous things I have said this week.

– Why would you put your jammies in the potty?

– Which one of you wants to give Superman his milk?

– Don’t worry, someday you’ll be big enough for wine.

– When people are outside, they wear pants.

– Caterpillars are our friends!

– Your sister is not your bed!

– Don’t lick the windows, please.

– Okay, I’m going to flush the toilet by myself.

– No! I will not open my sunglasses!

– Come here, let me kiss your bum.

If you enjoy this blog, please vote for Tales of an Unlikely Mother on We’re number 15, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up.


About parentwin

Parent of twins, blogger, writer and journalist. I write things. Sometimes people even read them.
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