Ways to Trick your Baby:
Problem: Your child loves you. She loves you so much. She needs to show you her love at all times in all ways. But sometimes, you’re busy. You can’t pick her up in the middle of your task, but she will have it no other way. If you give in, you’ll end up carrying her in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the bedroom, everywhere. If you do not give in, you’ll end up with a tantruming child you’ll eventually have to pick up anyway.
Solution: Designate a specific place for hugs. Our hug spot is the green couch. When your little one comes around looking for love, tell her you must go to your hug spot for affection. Then, at least for the first few days, interrupt what you’re doing to go there and hug her immediately. Soon she’ll get the idea that the hug spot is where the best affection occurs and the balance of desire will switch from the affection itself to the place of affection.
Problem: You can’t always leave what you are doing unattended, and babies can be too impatient to wait. In my house, the request goes from “Green couch?” to “Green cooooouuuuucccchhh” in a matter of seconds. But if the stove is on, or you need to go to the bathroom, your kids will have to wait.
Solution: Address their request immediately in some manner so they don’t feel you are just ignoring them. Tell them you’ll be at the hug spot at a time in the near future, but that you have to finish whatever task you are currently doing first. This will result in a tantrum or two at first, but if you stick to your word and go to the hug spot after you’re done stacking the dishwasher or whatever you’ve been doing, the babies will come to trust you. In this manner, you will be able to postpone affection-giving to a time and place that is convenient and, more importantly, not dangerous. Your children will have inadvertantly learned patience. When this works, it really helps save a parent’s sanity. Clinginess has gone way down in this house since I first started the hug spot.
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